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“Are you all right, Mrs. Richmond?”
“Yes, I'm fine,” Jermane said, not looking at the face poking out of the kitchen. When's the last time a maid wasn't around? They probably know all my business. They probably know Rex and I have no sex life, and I'm about to lose my sanity in this freakin castle. “Myra, you can take off early. Mr. Richmond probably won't be home anytime soon. You know his schedule these days.”
“Oh, alright, Mrs. Richmond. I'll just cover up the food and leave you to relax.” Jermane didn't bother to respond. She envied Myra's ability to have a life outside of the house. Jermane closed her eyes.
She went back to the night of the male strip show. She saw Black Zorro's face. Then she saw his body. A heavy presence engulfed her. She felt strong arms around her waist and gentle sweet caresses. She imagined him teasing her and blowing quick short breaths on her neck. When she woke up, she felt her forehead, then her neck. She was wet with sweat. As she got up, she felt unsettled about the images she'd dreamed about. She went to the bedroom to shower and change. With each drop of water, she tried to wash away her increasing desire for Zorro's touch. She slid between her satin sheets. The bed seemed more vast than usual as she tossed and turned with frustration. She finally fell asleep. Rex woke her several hours later.
“Hey, baby. I missed you today,” he whispered as her kissed her on the neck and wrapped his arm around her waist. He pulled her toward his stomach.
Jermane knew that he was in the mood and wanted to work off his stress from the day. As fine as Rex was, she was turned off by his predictability. He'd been such a selfish lover lately, less concerned about her desires than his need. She needed tender loving care and caresses, not 15 minutes of wham-bam.
“Not tonight, Rex. I'm really tired.”
“From what?” he asked in his properly educated diction.
“Never mind.”
“What do you mean, ‘never mind?’ We haven't made love in two weeks. We used to …”
“I know, we used to make love every day. Yes, I know. We used to spend time together, too, before you and my father became joined at the hip,” she said as she turned her back on him.
“Jermane, please don't start. You know my workload. I'm sorry I have to work weekends, but it's part of the job and …”
“And I hope it's worth sacrificing your marriage.”
“What? What do you mean? You can't be serious! Is this what your behavior Friday night was about?”
Jermane felt tears well up in her eyes. She bit her lip, regretting what she'd said, but also glad that she'd said it.
“Forget it, Jermane. I'm tired anyway.” He rolled to the other side of the bed and let out a big sigh.
Disgusted, she pulled the covers close to her chest and thought about Black Zorro until she dozed off.
CHAPTER SEVEN
hile driving to Etienne's with Jewel and Capri, I reflected on the sermon. I never thought that Pastor Graves and I would relate on the same subject so closely.
“Singles, it's OK to want a mate,” Pastor Graves pronounced. “God will give you the desires of your heart. But you and your partner need to be equally yoked to the Lord. So if you meet the latest Ebony Man and he only goes to church on Easter and Christmas, there's a problem there. If you already have a relationship with God, you just can't marry anybody. You need someone who is going to be a blessing to your life, not someone who's gonna add strife …”
Easy for him to say when he's got somebody to curl up with at night. I wonder if he was celibate before he got married. Ugh. This is just making me think about Reggie. Maybe I should've given him more of a chance. Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him about church.
“Did you see the pastor in that suit?” Jewel asked, turning up the radio.
“He's a little short for my taste, but he's a very good-looking man. But wait a minute. We can't be lustin' after the pastor now,” I said.
“I just like the fact that he always lets people know that his wife is the queen. I admire that,” Capri said.
Jewel was bobbing her head and snapping her fingers to the music … “It's gonna be a brighter day.”
“Kirk Franklin is so talented. I love this song,” I said. I began to sing the words with him. I turned up the volume.
“… Jesus, you're my everything …”
“It's so upbeat,” Capri said. “Y'all, I'm so hungry.”
“Me, too,” Jewel said while reapplying her makeup.
“Hey, guess who Jermane and I saw at the Java Stop?” I interjected.
“Who?”
“None other than the Black Zorro.”
“You're lying!” Capri said.
“If I'm lyin', I'm flyin'.”
“Ohmigod! What did Jermane do?” Jewel said. She stopped applying her lipstick.
“Jermane tried to play it off. And girls, let me tell you, he is even finer up close and PER-SON-AL!”
“Sop-you-up-with-a-biscuit type of fine?” Jewel asked.
“Oh, yes,” I said.
“Okay, enough lusting. It's God's day,” Capri said.
“Forgive us, Mrs. Stanton,” Jewel said.
“Excuse me, I told you I have no interest in any athletes. I don't care how good they look,” Capri said.
“Oh, so you do admit he's fine,” I said.
“Yeah, he's alright.”
“Uh-huh,” Jewel and I chimed together.
“So you're just going to forget about him?” Jewel asked.
“Thank God. We're at the restaurant,” Capri said.
Once we made it inside, we sat down at the table and waited on Jermane and Angel. Antonio came over and gave his usual greeting. The place was extra-crowded today, mostly with folks coming from church. The room was warm, and the familiar aroma of bacon, waffles, and omelets teased my nose.
Soon Jermane walked in.
“Hello, all,” Jermane said as she pulled her chair out and gracefully sat down. “Traffic was bad again today. Angel called and said she's right behind me.”
“Ms. Jermane, what can I get you?” Antonio asked.
“A cup of espresso, please.”
“Here comes Angel.” Jewel waved to her.
As Angel walked through the door, I noticed she was dragging a bit. She usually had such a confident stride that it was easy for me to detect the small change.
Probably all the hours she's been working lately. Who am I kidding? Angel doesn't ever work too hard.
Unlike Capri, who put in overtime hours regularly, Angel put in extra time only when she needed to. As a lawyer for one of the big oil and gas companies, she was often in litigation over one environmental suit or another. She definitely handled her business, but wasn't worried about climbing the corporate ladder. She figured that as long as she was able to keep herself in designer bags, natural fabrics, and a luxury car, she was fine.
“Hey, ladies,” Angel said as she sat down. “Sorry I'm late, but I didn't feel well this morning.”
“You'd better take it easy,” Capri said.
“Yeah, I had the worst cramps of my life. I know I'm getting older, but this is becoming unbearable. On top of that, I've been putting in extra time at work. My supervising attorney has been really on my back,” she said. “Maybe I'm just stressed.” She raised her hand to signal Antonio.
“Well, you'd better be careful. Bad cramps could mean several things in terms of your health. Don't just blow it off. Yes, you are a diva, but not invincible.”
“Cute. Don't worry, I'm gonna get checked out. Octavio said the same thing,” she said. Then she looked as if she'd just realized that she'd let the cat out of the bag.
“Octavio? Fine, young, Hispanic Octavio?” Jewel asked.
“Yes, that Octavio,” Angel said.
“This is the first I've heard of him,” Jermane said.
“He interned at my company a couple of summers ago. He works at a small firm here in town now.”
“And …” Capri said.
We all
leaned in.
“And nothing. We're good friends. He's not my type. I only date Black men, and he's at least seven years younger than me. So that's it,” she said.
“Yeah, right,” Jewel said.
“Enough already. I'm gonna eat,” Capri said, and then made a mad dash for the buffet line. The rest of us followed.
We cut all conversation as we moved through the line loading our plates with fresh fruit, omelets, waffles, Canadian bacon, blueberry pancakes, grits, and eggs. When we returned to our seats, after a few bites, we began conversing.
“So Jermane, heard you saw Mr. Zorro at the Java Stop,” Jewel said.
I kicked Jewel under the table.
Jermane darted her eyes in my direction.
“Yes,” she said. “I'd like to forget that little incident if you don't mind,” Jermane said with her eyes focused on her plate.
“Alright, I'll give you a break. But it's nice to have someone else creating excitement here besides me for a change,” Jewel said. “I cleaned up at the mall on Saturday. They had this 30-percent-off sale at Bebe's. Then I went to Nordstrom's and found these serious pumps,” she said with pride and excitement.
“Jewel, do you know the meaning of the word ‘budget?’” I said.
“You only live once, and I believe in making myself happy. I work too hard not to treat myself,” Jewel remarked.
“You treat yourself every day,” I said.
“Lexi, don't be mad at me because I have a steady salary.”
“My day will come. I'd rather have my own business in exchange for a steady salary anytime,” I said. “Besides, the way you spend, I'm surprised you have anything left out of your check by the time you've paid off all those credit card bills.”
“Very funny. I manage my money very well, thank you,” Jewel said
“All y'all talk about is clothes, money, and men,” Capri said.
“And what else is there to talk about?” Jewel said.
“World peace, poverty, affirmative action …”
“Please, Capri you don't have to be so serious all the time,” Jewel said.
“Well, you need to be a little more serious.”
“What is this? Pick on Jewel day?” she asked, jumping out of her chair.
“Anyway,” I said, “I was reading an article in Essence on celibacy …”
Everyone looked up. Jewel slid right back down.
“The article dealt with how women choose that route for different reasons: spirituality, cleansing and purification, preparation for a mate … I mean, it's an issue I've given a lot of thought about. Have ya'll?”
I waited for a reaction. Most of us were moving along our spiritual paths, but none of us has ever made a firm commitment about the issue of abstinence. Since I felt God was convicting me in this area, I was interested to see what everyone else had to say.
“Celibacy's possible,” Capri said.
“Well, I think everybody needs to get some every now and then,” Angel said. “It's human nature.”
“It is human nature, but sex should be reserved for marriage,” I said. “God originally intended it to be that way.”
“OK, well, somebody needs to share that with these men out here,” Angel said as she sliced her waffles with her knife.
I poured ketchup on my hash browns. “Well, ideally, if everyone was living like God wanted them to, it wouldn't be an issue,” I said.
“If you find a man that will hold out before marriage, you need to bronze him,” Angel added. “It's harder for men to control themselves.”
“I guess if they're Christians and really rely on the power of God, it's possible,” Capri said.
“A Christian? Yeah, right,” Angel said. “Those are the main ones trying to get up your skirt.”
“I know that one of my girls from college didn't have sex with her husband before marriage,” Capri said, “and Jermane was a virgin when she married Rex. That's really deep to me.”
“Yeah, Jermane, you definitely had a padlock on the panties,” Angel said.
“Thank you for sharing my virginity with all of Eti-enne's.”
“I guess it's better if you never had sex. If you haven't had it, you don't know what you're missing.” I looked for someone to jump in to validate my feelings.
“True, true.” Jewel stirred sugar in her grits.
“Jermane, what you and Rex experienced is something to be proud of,” Capri said. “Think of how many women gave their stuff away for the first time to some fool they wouldn't be caught dead with today. When you wait for a spiritually grounded man who knows the purpose of intimacy, you have a great foundation. I'd love that type of spiritual relationship. That's the way it's really supposed to be, but unfortunately, it's the exception.”
I was surprised at her comment. Capri never talked too much about relationships. As close as we were, I only knew of one man she was ever in love with, her high school boyfriend, Tyrek. They practically grew up together. He was her best friend and they were supposed to get married. But I'm not sure what happened to him or the relationship because she's always refused to talk about it. I figured she must've been hurt very badly.
“But what's the point of all this talk anyway,” Jewel exclaimed. “Who's celibate?”
“Jewel, we didn't say anyone was celibate. We were just talking about the idea of not having sex before marriage,” I said.
“Too late for all of that,” Jewel said.
“It's not too late. God holds us accountable for things we learn through His Word. Once we have that knowledge, He expects us to change our behavior.” I was trying not to sound too preachy.
“Girl, this is the new millennium. God understands. If we wait too long, our stuff will have dried up by then,” Jewel said as she rolled her eyes. “Besides, if we don't do it, somebody else will service these men.”
She does have a point. What were the chances of finding a man that strong? Besides, doesn't God forgive sin?
“Hey, ladies, are you enjoying your meal?”
I looked up and saw the now-familiar Mr. Stanton towering over our table.
“Hi, Tony! How are you? The food is simply marvelous,” Jewel said. She gazed at him as if he were going to be the next item on her plate.
He did look extremely attractive in his navy blue suit and red-and-blue striped tie. Those smooth-as-butter lips were soooo distracting. Capri, what is up with you, girl?
“Capri, how are you?” he said.
“Fine,” she said, barely glancing his way.
“Well, I guess I'll see you all again soon, if I'm lucky. By the way, here are some passes for the start of next season. I hope to see you ladies there,” he said.
He handed the passes to Jewel, the most obviously eager one at the table, and walked away toward the buffet.
“Brother has it going on!” Jewel said as she stuffed the passes in her Fendi bag.
“Please, he's just a man,” Capri said.
“Did you see that broad chest and the way he smiles, not to mention the fact that he looks like he can handle his business,” Angel said.
“Angel! My goodness,” Jermane said.
“Capri, when's the last time you had some?” Angel continued. “You better stop playing hard to get before you don't get got. Now's the perfect time. They're out of the playoffs.”
Jermane let out a soft chuckle.
“Stay out of my business,” Capri said.
“Angel, you're so concerned about the physical,” Jewel said.
“I call them like I see them. You all are, too. You just don't have the nerve to say it,” Angel said. “A man can look good all he wants to, but if he can't do anything for me in the bedroom, what's the use?” Angel said, pulling out a cigarette.
“Must you light up those death traps?” Jermane asked.
“Excuse me, miss. I'm going to go outside for a minute.” Angel grabbed her purse and got up.
“Lexi, don't look now, but there's your partner Terrance,” Jermane said dis
creetly.
“He is not my partner. We're just sharing office space,” I said.
“Hello, how are you all?” Terrance asked. “Lexi, you need to check your messages at the office.”
“I will,” I said.
“Everyone at this table is looking so beautiful-I'm not surprised at the company you keep, Alexis. I guess I'll see you in the office bright and early on Monday,” he said, and walked off.
“Girl, you know that man wants you. Stop trying to play hard to get,” Jewel said.
I rolled my eyes. “Forget you, I'm not desperate.”
“You should keep your options open. It's not like you're seeing Reggie anymore,” Jewel added.
God, I'd forgotten I'd told her.
“What happened?” Capri asked with a look of concern.
“Another one bites the dust,” Jewel sang.
Lord forgive me, but I'd really like to smack her.
“I'm fine, ya'll. It wasn't a big deal. I just realized we weren't on the same path spiritually, like Pastor Graves said in his sermon this morning. Plus, Reggie only wanted to hang when he wanted sex, and I wasn't trying to hear that. But I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal, so I didn't want to bother ya'll with it.”
I thought I sounded convincing. They didn't seem worried.
“Like I said, that's all the more reason to look into that Terrance. You could work with him if the money is right,” Jewel said. “He dresses nice and …”
“Let me cut you off right now, 'cause we're not even going to go there,” I said.
“He would probably make a good husband. He's neat. And he seems nice,” Jermane offered.
Angel returned from smoking her cigarette.
“Y'all are not hearing me. He has no sex appeal and no chemistry.”
“Well, maybe you could work with him,” Jewel said. “But on second thought, no sex appeal? No chemistry? Yeah, you'd better pass. If you marry a man like that, someone who has to ‘grow’ on you, you'll wake up one morning in bed and ask yourself ‘What the heck was I thinking?’ Then you'll be trying to find some chemistry somewhere else.”